my long awaited journey

Photo courtesy of genesissailingadventures.com

In three days, I leave the United States of America for the Central American nation of El Salvador.  Truth be told, I'm scared shitless.  I didn't think I would be, but the trip is beginning to creep closer and I'm starting to feel the anticipation building.  I am attending this trip with Habitat for Humanity and it's really the first time I've ever done anything like this in my lifetime. I've always said it was something I was going to do, but I was unsure of the timetable, and if it would be in the near future or way down the line.  However, some things worked out in my career this year and I had the opportunity to receive a free flight for this incredible opportunity.

I took full advantage and found the mission trip online while searching for some volunteer activities throughout the city of Cincinnati.  Volunteering is something I'm very passionate about, but it's kind of been one of those things for me the past few years.  You know what I mean?  One of those things where I stress its importance in my life but when I really sit back to think on it, I haven't followed through on it much.  Sometimes, it just feels like those type of scenarios are human nature as we try and do as much as possible in our lives.  We wake up early, set goals and dream of all the things we want to accomplish until the day that we are six feet under.  Sometimes, however, we never reach these pinnacles and never get the opportunities to carry out our biggest dreams and ambitions.  

Why is that?  Why does it feel like so many of us attempt to attain all that we can, but in the end, often come up short? Have we always been this way as human beings?  What about before we were human beings? Has disappointment been engrained into our systems from the beginning of time?  Is it just as engrained as triumph and victory might be?  I don't know really, but I do know this; when I made the decision to follow through with this trip and not look back, I can't even begin to explain the pure feeling of jubilation that proceeded it.  

I had made a big decision: A crazy one when I really sit back and think about it.  But, I don't really give a shit. According to most people, I'm only here once, so I might as well take some risks and have a ton of fun doing it, right?  Although I'm one to believe that my soul lives on and that I've lived past and future lives already, I'll never be in this exact spot in space or time ever again.  So, I figured what the hell?  Let's go on a trip that differs a bit from the partying and fast-paced nature of my lifestyle so far and see the world in a different light.  To say that this upcoming experience will be humbling is quite the understatement, but it's all beginning to hit me now, and I couldn't be more excited for the journey that lies ahead.